This question first sprung to mind whilst listening to a track from Justin Bieber’s most recent album, titled ‘The Feeling’. The chorus starts off with the words, “Am I in love with you, or am I in love with the feeling?” – which subsequently got me thinking, what is love, if not a feeling?
In my eyes, love for another person, is wanting the best for them at any and all costs. Love is, to me, selfless. It shouldn’t be about how the other person makes you feel, it should be about how you can make the other person happy. Being selfless, I believe, is not something that comes to humans naturally. During the days of the caveman, there was selfish competition to stay alive and now during the days of Instagram, there is selfish competition for self validation. Humans are selfish. So how can we say, that love, something so pure and selfless, is something that comes naturally to us, when we are so selfish in other everyday matters? Hence I believe that love is a choice.
Think of it like an athlete training for a sport. There is an initial spark, an initial attraction to the sport, so the athlete decides to pick it up. He begins to train for it, he works hard for it. During the training period, he may run into injuries, he may find that the training is taking up too much of his time, he may decide that the sport is not for him and he may quit. However, another athlete, might run into the same problems, but choose to solve them, communicate and keep persevering. And this athlete may find it difficult in the short run, but in the long run, he will get stronger and he will become better.
This is what I believe a relationship is like. Relationships ask us to do difficult things, forgive people, console people in times of grief, make sacrifices for people. And sometimes it can be tiring, and people do quit, there are divorces and breakups. But some people choose to try solve the problems they might face, together. This is real love. It will be hard work and it will be difficult at times, but, just like an athlete, the rewards you reap after your hard work will be satisfying.
You can’t help who you’re physically attracted to, but you can help who you are in love with, and more importantly, who you stay in love with. This is why I believe love is a choice.
I just wanted to say thank you to Ria for guest writing this very interesting post. Comments are very welcome!
Until next time lovely people,