New Years Resolution

Resolutions might not all be kept but they provide a written down, solid way in which you can improve your life. Or at least a written down track of how you’re failing. So here we go:

1. Post at least 1 Instagram photo a week. Why am I forcing myself on to social media you ask. Well, in all honesty I just need to take more photos. There have been amazing moments this year where I’ve just not taken a picture and I’m worried those memories are going to be lost forever. (p.s it’s @prinasumaria)

2. Try a new recipe every week. Recently, my diet has changed for the better and I’m just so excited to try even more healthy recipes!

3. Solidify friendships. The first term of university has meant I’ve made loads of friends, but to me the quality of those friendships is so much more important, so I want to spend more time with the friends I know are going to be there for the long run.

4. Read 20 books.  2016 was an abysmal year of reading for me and that needs to change pronto.

5. Do a month of blogging everyday. I completely forgot to do this last year, but absolutely loved doing it in 2015 so hey, I might even do it in January.

6. Be a more outspoken vegan. Being vegan is an incredibly big and important part of my life. But the environment and animals aren’t going to be saved any quicker if I don’t speak up.

7. Read at least one news article a day. Going to university has meant I’m out of the loop most of the time so let’s try to improve my awareness!

Until next time lovely people,

slothyqueen

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Is Love a Feeling or a Choice? | GUEST WRITER

This question first sprung to mind whilst listening to a track from Justin Bieber’s most recent album, titled ‘The Feeling’. The chorus starts off with the words, “Am I in love with you, or am I in love with the feeling?” – which subsequently got me thinking, what is love, if not a feeling?

In my eyes, love for another person, is wanting the best for them at any and all costs. Love is, to me, selfless. It shouldn’t be about how the other person makes you feel, it should be about how you can make the other person happy. Being selfless, I believe, is not something that comes to humans naturally. During the days of the caveman, there was selfish competition to stay alive and now during the days of Instagram, there is selfish competition for self validation. Humans are selfish. So how can we say, that love, something so pure and selfless, is something that comes naturally to us, when we are so selfish in other everyday matters? Hence I believe that love is a choice.

Think of it like an athlete training for a sport. There is an initial spark, an initial attraction to the sport, so the athlete decides to pick it up. He begins to train for it, he works hard for it. During the training period, he may run into injuries, he may find that the training is taking up too much of his time, he may decide that the sport is not for him and he may quit. However, another athlete, might run into the same problems, but choose to solve them, communicate and keep persevering. And this athlete may find it difficult in the short run, but in the long run, he will get stronger and he will become better.

This is what I believe a relationship is like. Relationships ask us to do difficult things, forgive people, console people in times of grief, make sacrifices for people. And sometimes it can be tiring, and people do quit, there are divorces and breakups. But some people choose to try solve the problems they might face, together. This is real love. It will be hard work and it will be difficult at times, but, just like an athlete, the rewards you reap after your hard work will be satisfying.

You can’t help who you’re physically attracted to, but ls-qnrGYyou can help who you are in love with, and more importantly, who you stay in love with. This is why I believe love is a choice.

Ria

 

I just wanted to say thank you to Ria for guest writing this very interesting post. Comments are very welcome!

Until next time lovely people,

slothyqueen

Giving Unconditionally.

The most inspirational people I know are those who give their time, energy and expertise to help others without expecting anything in return. Not acknowledgement, not praise and not money. These people go the extra mile to help others out, and so importantly, their intentions are pure.

Especially in this capitalist society, it is so easy to get caught up in self-centred thoughts and doing what’s best for you at every point. Most people rarely go out of their way to help someone out. People may pass you the salt across the table but most aren’t willing to go to the kitchen to get it. (Yes, that was a weird analogy, it made sense in my head!)

Yesterday, in our leavers assembly, one of our teachers said, always share the knowledge you have. All too often we get bogged down in this competitive culture of trying to be better than everyone else, get higher grades etc, so we keep the knowledge we have to ourselves in order to make ourselves seem better than the rest. But in reality, that doesn’t make you a better person and doesn’t make you happy or satisfied with your life, so was their really any point in doing it?

I have a lot more to say on this topic so there may be a part two, but I’d love to know your opinions on this so drop me a comment.

Until next time lovely people,

slothyqueen

Fear of failure?

Yesterday my friend said, ‘I’d rather have no grade on my record and not do the subject than have a bad grade and do it.’ I’m paraphrasing but hopefully you get the gist. What’s everyone’s initial reaction to this?

I personally think this is a really damaging mentality and one that is way too common is society. I know, I’m being dramatic, but I think it’s part of a wider issue with the mentality of doing things to maximise your future success rather than learning for the pure joy or just to better yourself. I made the point that a grade, however bad, is better than getting no grade at all and I still agree with that statement. It shows you’ve tried but more importantly you’ve gained knowledge that you didn’t already have. How exciting is that?

Learn for yourself, and the high grade will come with ease. Do you agree with this statement that I’ve spontaneously made up? :’)

Until next time lovely people,

slothyqueen

Working with Lazy Colleagues

This post is all those tips that you’ve always wanted to solve your problems that come with working with those lazy colleagues of yours that just seem to get away with doing absolutely no work.

Protip No 1Do not stoop to their level. Whatever happens just don’t do it! It’s tempting I must admit, but this is a bad reflection on yourself and doesn’t really do anything to solve the problem. By you also being lazy even less work will get done and you lose the right to complain about them – which let’s face it, is your conversation starter with nearly every other colleague/friend.

Protip No 2. Ask them to do stuff. But more importantly in the right way. Use phrases such as ‘since I’m doing … at the moment, would you mind doing…’ ‘it would be such a big help if you could do….’ ‘when have a spare moment could you do….’ Basically what I’m trying to say here is, if you see them doing nothing while you slave away ask them to help you. They may say no, in which case you have the right to complain as before.

Protip No.3 Don’t stress. There is nothing you can do (well, apart from protip no. 2) about the actions of your colleagues so the most important thing is just to chill, enjoy your work, work hard and do what you’re meant to be doing. If there are things that haven’t been done due to their laziness then when the manager questions this, be honest, say you worked to your maximum capability and so and so wasn’t pulling their weight.

Now, I’m no expert in the world of real life jobs and this guide is more for myself, but if it helps you too then that’s my good deed for the day. Please leave comments on your tips and whether or not you agree with my (somewhat controversial?) advice.

I’ve just realised I’ve assumed whoever is reading this is a hard-working person so if, in fact, you are the lazy colleague; fuck you.

Until next time lovely people,

slothyqueen

#Goals

This whole idea of something being ‘goals’ has really blown up and I see it commented (mostly serious I believe?) everywhere beneath pictures of couples, decor, friends and literally anything else.

Now, contrary to my tone above, I’m not against someone expressing their desire to have something by commenting ‘#goals’ but it really irks me when, for example, it’s a relationship. From a picture how can you tell whether these two random people on the internet have a deep connection? How can you tell the relationship isn’t abusive? How can you tell they are happy? The short answer to all of those questions is; you can’t. You never really know what happens once the camera is off so can you judge whether that is really the goal you are aiming for?

Another prominent type of post where ‘#goals’ comments are numerous are ones showing off peoples’ body. Body image is a huge issue as it is, yet saying that this one particular body shape is the goal, the perfect way to be? Isn’t that just putting unnecessary pressure to look a certain way?

I think the main thing that I don’t like about this whole #goals craze is the fact that I often only see it on the same types of posts; the ones with certain expensive products, pretty minimalistic rooms, conventionally beautiful people etc. And this to me, says there is a particular way to live that is valued more than any another. Maybe I’m just looking into this way too deep and everyone is just using it as a sarcastic phrase just as I do.

I would love to know your opinions on ‘#goals’ and whether or not you use it so let me know in the comments!

Until next time lovely people,

slothyqueen

P.S – Hug yourself every time I wrote goals in this post (you’ll have a lot of endorphins afterwards!)

Thinking.

I think a lot. As in maybe 60% of my day is spent staring off into the distance thinking about god knows what. I’ve recently been thinking a lot about the act of thinking itself. Am I wasting my time? Could I be using this time to work? Achieve greater things? Be more successful?

I think the answer to all those questions is yes. But would I want to sacrifice that time? No. I love it. It’s what keeps me sane. It’s why I don’t get bored. It’s why I love life (dramatic I know). Thinking regenerates me, it’s the ‘me’ time that I think more people need to cherish.

Any thoughts on thoughts peeps?

Until next time lovely people,

slothqueen

Friends.

All of my friends are kind of the same. Now, I don’t mean that they don’t all have individual, independent personalities but that most of my good friends with whom I have actual, meaningful conversations with are middle-class, academic, ambitious young women. I love the conversations that I have with these awesome people but we inevitably have similar opinions so I don’t gain a new perspective, so to speak.

This is where you guys and the internet come in. I want to really chat to you guys, get to know your opinions on stuff and have a laugh. Whatever your age, gender, country of origin drop me a message on twitter. My twitter handle is @slothyqueenx. 

Until next time lovely people,

slothyqueen

Why Am I Anonymous?

Recently, I’ve really been questioning why I don’t really publicise or give the link to this blog to people I know personally.

First thing to get out the way – I’m not a different person on here. If I gave this blog to my best friends, they would find most of it repetition, I mean, I talk about most of this stuff with them anyway.

What I’m more self concious about is people reading older posts. My opinions have changed, I no longer believe some of the things I wrote but that doesn’t mean I want to delete those posts because at the time I held that to be true, so for me, it’s a nice record to keep in terms of the development of my personality. And I think that’s why I absolutely hate giving out any of my social media like twitter and this blog to people I have just met. It means they can make judgements on who I was a year ago rather than who I am now.

Another major point of self conciousness, is my writing. I know I’m not at good writing, and to be honest I don’t think that’s going to change any time soon. I feel (maybe wrongly) that people will judge my intelligence on this? With people who I know this can then translate into real life conversations being different.

Another thing about me is that I’m quite a private person. I don’t like people who I don’t call my friends, knowing things about me (vague, I know). Yet in this blog, I am extremely open. I think again, it leads to the fact that when meeting new people I want to have conversations with them where we both know the same amount about each other and go on a journey to discover more. That can’t happen if they already know my opinion on half the topics under the sun.

I’m sorry, this wasn’t a very fun post, but I wanted to get my thoughts into some sort of order and written down. I’m not always proud of this blog but thanks for sticking around.

Until next time lovely people,

slothyqueen

 

How do you make people feel?

It’s the way that people make you feel that you remember; not exactly what they said.

I’ve tried to pinpoint what exactly the person is doing or saying when they make me feel valued or just good, but it’s so difficult. I think it’s a combination of body language, eye contact, content of the words they say and just the general vibes that they give.

I try to constantly judge and recognise how make people feel. It’s a difficult one, because people so often hide their true feelings, but putting yourself in their shoes and taking time out to think about how you would react in their situation, is time well spent. Making a few changes like showing genuine interest in what they’re talking about and giving them your full attention can make such a difference. I’m lucky to say that I have so many people around me who make me and others feel special; now it’s just for me to learn from them!

I would love to know what you think about the things I’ve said!

Until next time lovely people,

slothyqueen